January 28, 2014

Hey P!!!! Winter Is Coming (A Rated PG Rant)

Yes, I know that winter is already here and that this is actually from Game of Thrones but it's sort of how I feel right now.  I feel like a wildling from outside the wall that's trying to make sense of what it is going on inside the wall.  I have a great concern about a half-man that is trying to take control of a land that is not his.  Of course, I am not talking about Tyrion Lannister trying to take the Iron Throne and ruling Westeros.  I am talking about that "skinny motherfucker with the high voice" trying to take control of the internet.  That's right.  I'm talking about Prince and his ridiculous lawsuits against his fans.  I first became a Prince fan back in 1981 after hearing the Controversy album.  Now 33 years later, I would like to say that my love for the man and his music has not changed but grown.  I would like to say that but I can't.  At least I can't say it honestly.  Yes, I bought the albums (remember those?) and the CDs and the cassettes.  I saw the movies.  I went to the concerts.  Yes, I have my share of bootlegs.  Originally I bought them from my local wrecka stow but then I discovered the online world of the purple peeps. I found out that there was tons of "free music" out there being shared by like-minded fans.  It was like I was a purple junkie needing my fix.  But like a junkie, one day I had a "bad trip" and it woke me up.  It opened my eyes to how I was wasting my life looking for the next fix.  What was the bad trip?  It was an actual trip I made to Chicago to see the Purple Prima Donna open up his Welcome 2 Chicago shows.  My wife and I drove the 600 plus miles to Chicago and were so excited.  Then when we get to The United Center, we wait outside for the doors to open.  Now I am used to waiting on the Purple Pain to take the stage but we were locked out of the arena because he was still doing soundcheck.  We were told that he wanted to make sure it was perfect for the crowd.  LOL!!! That's a good one.  When we finally got inside and found our seats we found out that for some reason, they flipped the stage for this one night.  So instead of sitting at the point of the symbol, we are now sitting at the top rounded end.  Hmmm..... I paid for two particular seats based on the setting of the stage and then I end up at the opposite end because they flipped the stage for this one show.  Gee, thanks Prince!!!!  Ok, nothing I can do about that but then the show starts. Right from the beginning, its the worst show I have been to in my life.  Yeah, the music is good but the sound was terrible and the video cameras for the big screens were filming his elbow half the time.  The show was pretty much a standard Welcome 2 show and since I had so many of them already, I could pretty much predict what was coming next, right down to the "ad libs."  When a song started up that I knew was heavy on P's guitar playing my heart started racing.  But the little bastard hardly played anything on the guitar.  Purple Rain? Nope, no guitar.  Then there was the bullshit encores.  After the first, there was like a 30-40 minute wait with the house lights coming on.  I knew from past concerts that there was still hope and sure enough, here he comes on a mountain bike.  He played two songs and then left.  That was it.  Nothing else.  I read later where he said the long delay was they fired the sound man between encores and that's what took so long.  He should have fired him before the show.  If we waited for him to get the sound right during the soundcheck and this is what we were left with, I would hate to see it before. But that was then.

2013 and the illusion continues.  We are teased with all this 3rd Eye Girl stuff and Live Stream snippets and "bootlegs" that "leak" out on the net.  We are promised Plectrum Electrum and a Prince CD before the end of the year.  We hear how they are recording all the time and this is the best album ever and just wait because it will blow you away.  Well, we are "still waiting."  Like the bootleg Welcome 2 the Beautiful Experience says, "Where's the shit man?" Oh, let me guess, "It's just around the corner..." right?  Please, what do we look like baby, yesterday's fools?

2014 and now the Purple Punk is going after his fans.  Seriously?  You hired a law firm to sue your fans for sharing your music?  Ok then.  The fans, the ones who got you where you are?  The ones who buy your music (when you actually release some) and attend your shows? Explain to me how that makes sense? The people that are supporting you and making sure that we don't pay for bootlegs are the ones you are suing?  There are companies and people out there charging outrageous amounts of money for what was being traded for free but you don't go after them? Did you fall off your heels and hit your head?  Is your afro too tight?  To borrow a line from the movie Full Metal Jacket, "What is your major malfunction, Numb Nuts?" Attacking your fans, the ones that support you makes as much sense as trying to hunt squirrels with a rake!!!  I don't get it.  But that's Prince for you.  Love4OneAnother?  Nope!  New Power Generation? I'll pass.

It was a great ride and I thoroughly enjoyed it but like I said at the beginning, winter is coming.  This is the winter of our discontent and that discontent is focused on you P.  You went after NPR Universe, DaBang, Purple House, Funky Experience and others when you should be going after the ones actually make money off what was traded freely.  How much did it cost you to hire the law firm for the lawsuits?  Take that money and use it to deliver the music that you have promised us since the NPGMC.  The music that we have paid for from your bullshit websites.  Why must we play this silly game? Instead we get the petty lies and alibis. Do you remember this?
U may have lost me, but I found myself
The ones who love me without condition - this is my wealth
And with these words I will win
Repeat them over and over again
All understand and all standunder this affirmation now
By the power invested in me by God...
All negativity bows

We are the ones who loved you unconditionally.  But apparently that's not enough wealth for you.  All negativity bows?  What's more negative than attacking your fans?  Seriously?!?!
What are we looking 4?
Well, first and foremost, U have 2 get free
U know, when it comes time 2 download your work into your fans' computers U can't have any other contractual obligations
Second of all, U have 2 get smart

So smarten up before you lose the loyal fans.  This world can be so empty living in it all alone.  I will still listen to the music but I will not support you or your continued lies and empty promises.  Winter is coming, the war will go on and on and it's your Saturday morning cartoons that awaits. Yes this is really GOODBYE!!!!!

It's such a shame our friendship had 2 end!!!!!!!!! 

 P.S.  I'll probably get sued for this post since I "borrowed" from a lot of Prince lyrics to express my displeasure.  So we will see what the Paisley Police do. LOL!!!  But I am not sweating that, I just hope Shakespeare doesn't have relatives that try to sue me since I used his discontent line from Richard III.  Oh, well.  PEACE!!!!